

Jack buys beans, a stalk grows into the sky, where a land of giants just biding their time for another chance to take over the world below awaits. Not only is the cuisine uninspired, ultimately, it doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. It leaves the audience feeling like it spent an evening at an expensive restaurant expecting to taste some delicious, innovative dish, only to find themselves digesting a bland, flavorless Betty Crocker casserole.

This new release, that was slated for last summer and tellingly sat on the shelf until now, is exceedingly straight-ahead, uninventive and laden with special effects. By the time the bombastic yet tragic minor-keyed Lord of the Rings-type theme music swelled to accompany Jack The Giant Slayer’s climactic battle scenes, I was tempted to flamboyantly roll my eyes in slow motion.
